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This is by no means an easy task, but someone has to do it.

Disclaimer: I am no expert at what love is (I tried to define it in 2014 see link here Quick Thought – What I think Love is) Did I do a good job? Well let me know in the comment section. However between then and now I have increased in knowledge and understanding and to be honest I still have a lot to learn.

I may not be an expert on what Love is, but experience has taught me what Love definitely is not and I will be sharing it with y’all.

Before I go into the juicy sturvs (lol yeah I said it) let’s imagine a quick scenario. You step into a room hall full of people and there in the center of the room is this light skinned brother/sister eyes so glassy hair perfectly done, smile so dreamy and then everything stops, it is like time stops and then there’s background music; Ave Maria? or is it John Legend? What does it matter the tempo is in line with your heart beat and everything is perfect!!

‘Snap Out Of IT!!!!!’

You may think that is how love feels…..Love at first sight you may call it! Do I think that is the feeling of Love?

What does my opinion matter I am not a subject expert.

Back to the Subject Matter – WHAT LOVE IS NOT

I will be debunking some misconceptions and misconstrued ideas of what Love is, as so many people have come to see love as so many things that really isn’t love; and with the rise of the Age of the ‘YORUBA DEMON & WITCHES’ the misconception is becoming widely spread.

See the various Misconstrued meanings of Love below.

  1. Love is Not A Noun: A Noun is a word (other than a pronoun) used to identify any of a class of people, places, or things ( common noun ), or to name a particular one of these ( proper noun ). Some people see the word Love as just a word or feeling and attach very little meaning to it. The word Love and all the feelings that come with it is just the beginning of it all there is definitely more to the four letter L O V E. Love is not defined by a person or place, it is defined by an action and this is captured in John 15:13 ‘Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends’ (NIV). That passage goes to show that the word Love is not a Noun but indeed a Verb. It must have an action to back it up.
  2. Love is not Circumstantial: Love should never feel as if ‘I love you more than you love me and vice versa‘, it should be reciprocal and very mutual. Love is not conditional, doesn’t have levels or lesser degrees of love. Where you find yourself in such a situation then whatever you are feeling is not love, maybe lust, like or comfort but certainly not love. Where you find yourself convincing the other of your love or vice versa it is not Love I dare to say it is Infatuation. All the little things shouldn’t come from one side and if you hurt your partner must hurt too.
  3. Love is Not Self Validation: YOU DO NOT NEED LOVE TO BE VALIDATED. I have heard so many times especially from female friends that they need a guy to love them so they can also love themselves. My response to that is simple you cannot find joy in the love from a mortal, you do not need love for a confidence boost, the one person you need to love you already Loves you unconditionally, he loves you so much he gave his only son to die for you so that you may live (John 3:16) – What more validation can you look for? So baby girl and baby boy you do not need Love to be validated. Your validation is in Christ, just believe and you will receive.
  4. Love is Not Blind: It is a common saying and even a familiar love song lyric about how blind love is; I dare to say that Love is Not Blind ‘STUPIDITY IS’. “Love sees what is most true” – Vanna Bonta. Tbh Only Love has eyes, other than love everything else is blind. Whatever habits or attitudes or actions exhibited by your partner that would require you to turn a blind eye would most likely come back to stab you in the back!! You don’t believe me? Ask the millions of women in abusive relationships today I am sure they’ll have one to many scars to show you. Love learns to accept people for who they are but when love goes from acceptance to tolerance then serious problem is brewing.
  5. Love is Not Human: This is the most important one of them all. Love was not some human invention or a human feeling created by humans for humans. Love is the one thing that connects us to how God really feels about us, when you love you feel the presence of God because God is Love and I am of the firm opinion that true love cannot exist outside of God. Growing up, I learnt a valid lesson from my father who told me that the only reason why a man would stick to his wife all through his marriage is because that man fears God. This I interpreted to mean that commitment is a way of showing love to your partner and the most effective way to stay committed is by committing to the Author of Love itself. The single fear of offending God would keep a man/woman committed to the vows taken in the presence of God and man. That day I made up my mind to involve God fully when I am ready to commit to the sanctity of Holy Matrimony.

In Conclusion: I always love to end my conversations around love with a disclaimer. Who am I to define what Love is or what it is not, I am but a traveller in this beautiful world of Ours, daily discovering what is and is not, by revelation I have put this together so in it I do hope you find some words of solace and understanding.

If you have questions or contributions, kindly leave a comment or send me an email at askibk1.0@gmail.com, you will be sure to get a response from me! Thanks for reading!

3 thoughts on “WHAT LOVE IS NOT

  1. Love isn’t possession. Love is appreciation. Let’s liken Love to a flower. You walk past a rose bush on your way to work: everyone knows you are crazy about those and so, you think to yourself, surely, ” I must have one.” So you pluck a couple just to show your friends, or perhaps, to compliment your hair — beautiful as it lays between your ear and the side of your head.– Before we proceed, let’s note how you could either decide to take a picture from a distance just becuse, but some us just have the insatiable desire to possess things and that “Desire” is often confused to be love. The high of having that rose which you think you love is this “it makes you feel special, complete – somehow… Hours pass and it begins to die, you wish that it wouldn’t, but it does anyway.. Because a rose or any flower at all, is to die once it is disconnected from its root, stem, which in this scenario is it’s support system. Now, let’s not forget that the rose didn’t have to die.. Cos only one who truly loves (Aprreciates) a rose, understands the process behind caring for it. – cutting out the root, placing it in a vase with a coin and in water mixed with sugar, and having to change the water every other morning. Lest i forget, every Flower lover knows that it requires the right amount of sunlight so it survives.. But only true lovers would know that.

    • I don’t agree that Love has to be mutual from the onset, heavens!, sometimes it could even take weeks, months, or even years for the other person to realize that they actually did love that person. I’ve seen cases where two people who couldn’t stand each other, fell in love and vice versa. Love is everything but selfish. The problem is people get into relationships believing that the other person would have to be all that they’ve ever dreamt of or thought up in their heads. We all think we are perfect just the way we are. Heck, it’s something our parents always told us growing up. So somehow, we believe the other person has to change, bend, squeeze themselves just to fit into our perfect picture and meet all our expectations. I don’t believe in people complimenting people. I believe that whatever you want to work out WOULD WORK OUT. We are just selfish in our own little ways and so when we find ourselves in situations that makes us a wee bit uncomfortable, we throw in the towel.
    Why do you think some people have successfull relationships from the onset and others don’t? Luck? Please… And then one person decides the other person is far from what they want but end up with someone else who is just like them?
    Love is pretty simple. Our selfishness complicates it. Oh, and our parents didn’t find their partners by luck but because back then people had values that helped shape the decisions they made. Today, all we have is selfish people looking for someone to rebuild, reshape and change other themselves.
    i think I must have gotten carried away..
    Did I mention love isn’t possession but appreciation? Think about it.

    (Pardon the typos if any, I’m typing while driving)


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